All of Life Springs from Po.
If I had to think about things in the manner that I used to, I would not be sitting here writing this.
Write this, I must – if I do not write this, I cannot see with my own eyes the thing in the darkness that was spawned from the pain…the thing in the Po of my life.
I know…there is punctuation missing, and I fully expect that other Kanaka Maoli are going to have things to say about it not being there. They can. I don’t care. It is not my thought, my thing, my way to tell people who they are, what they will do, how they will continue to create what it is that they want to call their lives.
That is not me.
The me who I was forced to become, by mechanism of Spirit and through the pain that is loss is this me who is currently writing this, and this me who is not ill prepared for the pain. It is merely time that has to pass, and merely the thought in my head, in Po that makes me know that no matter what my physical self wants to believe, I am who is the one who is meant to create, for me, through this darkness, this Po, all that I am meant for, and all that is mine and in manifest.
What is not mine and neither in manifest is anyone else’s pain, is anyone else’s heartache, is anyone else’s Karma.
I have no say so in terms of how other people do what they will in order to fix their pain.
I only have my way for me, and my way for me has always been to recall what was the fondness, deal with what is not the truth of me as told by others to me, and move, no matter how slowly or swiftly, as I am prompted.
I am not prompted by me.
I am prompted by the ‘Aumakua, prompted by the thought in my head that no matter what is still wrong with me knee, with my physical self, there still is the soul within, and the soul within who wants to dance, no matter who is or who is not, no matter who will, or who will not, no matter who can, or who cannot, see me do this…see me do what is my practice as a Medicine Woman, as Kahuna Wahine, as this me.
The Po that is, I suppose, was meant, was created by that which was Love and Love not only for another, but, Love that is for my very self.
It is my Very Self who is writing this, and not that forlorn, not that angry, not that human with a motive for making it clear to anyone at all that I have been wounded, and no better a time than now, when there is significant Chiron energy surrounding me, surrounding this..event…that is something that was significant for my learning, if for nothing else.
I am sad, make no mistake, but, at the same time, I am contemplative…yet I am not wondering a thing more than the answer to the question – Where do I, specifically, go from here, and what is it that I, specifically, should learn from this…from this Po which resides in the heart, as well as the mind, and in the soul?
I don’t know where to go with this Po
Perhaps to the wood beneath my feet, the loveliness of slack key guitars in my ears, and this Medicine Dance in my Heart, healing my Spirit with the cathartic nature of the darkness, of the Po energy, which is in the birthing of the light of creation
Aloha….
a count of eight 